To Helmuth (2nd Draft)

The week of February 19-24, 2014 I was involved in the first high school production of Thomas F. Rogers' "Huebener". I was first introduced to the show by my brother in January of 2013, when I told him the next school year's performances: "The King and I", and "Huebener". He paused and said, "You're doing Huebener?". He went on to say that he had recently gone to an event in which he met the author Thomas Rogers, and learned about the story, the play, and the history. He told be about the play, the characters, the plot; he explained the conflict, the choices, the consequences. I was mesmerized at the tale. I wanted immediately to do the play. He gave me a book in which five of Rogers' plays were written. I read the play in a day, and was very intrigued by the branch president, Arnold Zoellner (Arthur Zander). The decision(s) he had to make were devastating and heartbreaking, and I wanted desperately to portray the role. I studied, I learned, and I prayed for the ability to do such a part justice. Auditions came and went, and the cast list was posted, in which the ninth name read:

Arnold Zoellner..................................................................Shandon Lewis

I was ecstatic! For the first time in my experience as an actor, I had received the role I auditioned for! With a yell, I punched the air above me with an iron-clad fist. I had won the role, and with rehearsal, study, and a lot of effort, I would portray it. Though, at the time, I did not realize how close the character would come to my heart. With study, he became part of me, as every part will do with enough time spent. I felt for him as a person, and I knew he was so. I knew the history behind his actions, the factual and nonfactual statements posed of him, the situation and setting in which he lived.

I became so close to the man, and then rehearsals began.

It took me quite a while to resist the urge to throttle some members of the cast who took the play "less than seriously". As I watched the students joke and play, part of me wanted to join in, but the rest of me knew it would be a blight on the memory of those involved in this play. And so I studied. I memorized. I pondered. I tried as best I could to feel what Zoellner felt, and to act in the manner in which he would. Soon, others in the cast were less lazy and became much more intense about the passing's by. We were asked to build posters for our character, we were commissioned to find sponsors, we were obliged to distribute to businesses around the town. These all, I feel, were striven diligently to accomplish by the cast. We rehearsed, we rehearsed, we rehearsed. Day in and day out--at least for myself--the cast pondered upon their characters.

Suddenly, as if hit with a brick, we saw it was February 19th.

We opened the show.

It was seen by many, felt by ourselves, attributed to Helmuth.

We closed the show.

I don't know that there will ever be a play that will affect me as this one did. Not before this time, nor after. I don't know that one character can influence me as Zoellner did. I don't know that I can ever look at life, a story, or any person the same way after having put myself in this one.

Thomas Rogers had a workshop with us the day after opening night, in which we discussed questions from the cast and his own inspiration to write the play. He told us that he was so inspired to write it, that he gave up three straight nights of a busy man's life to procure the first draft. The story needed to be told, he said. I do believe the same.

In Alma chapter 14, there are a couple verses that, to me, epitomize the views of Helmuth and Zoellner:

10 And when Amulek saw the pains of the women and children who were consuming in the fire, he also was pained; and he said unto Alma: How can we witness this awful scene? Therefor let us stretch forth our hands, and exercise the power of God which is in us, and save them from the flames.

11 But Alma said unto him: The Spirit constraineth me that I mus not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them up unto himself, in glory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them, yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day.

Now, as we are familiar with the account of these two missionaries, we know the end of the story. Though it was impressed upon me one day that the views of Amulek in these particular verses are quite in line with Helmuth's, in that he wanted to do something--to right the wrongs that existed in their land. Whereas Alma was constrained otherwise. I believe that neither act is inherently wrong but we must listen to the spirit to know which path to take in the existing situation. I have been led to believe that each choice made by those involved in Huebener, was the best they could make according to their knowledge; that each made their choice as best they could upon the promptings of the Holy Ghost. That there were better choices that could have been rooted in more faith, I do not doubt, but that the hearts of these people did not make worthy effort to listen to God and His precepts is in my mind untrue. I believe in the goodness of the men and women involved in this play, factual or nonfactual.

Somewhat concerning this matter, I was impressed also to write an interpretation on this play--perhaps in another setting or in which the light would be different. It explains, I hope correctly, my views on Helmuth v. Zoellner:

Helmuth-The truth is squandered by Hitler and his comerades! We cannot let this continue, lest, by offence toward God, we assist in Hitler's plague of propaganda!

Rudi-Aye!

Karl-Aye!

Jonni-Aye!

Helmuth-What say you, bruder Zoellner?

Zoellner-*A Pause*

Helmuth-What say you to the incredible reports of the National Socialist Propaganda Ministry? They who lie under news, radio, and the spoken word? What say you to the evil of Hitler that strikes at all who show the slightest bit of opposition? What say you, bruder Zoellner, to the examples of so many who defied the world for the sake of their Father in Heaven? To Luther, to Paul, and to Joseph Smith himself? What say you, bruder Zoellner? What say you?

Zoellner-I say no!

Helmuth-*A Pause* No?

Zoellner-I say no the the interpretations of your heart, Helmuth; that I agree or disagree with them in another matter, but in the essence of commerce, I say no. No to defiance, but yes to faith in God. No to objection, but yes to subjection--not to Hitler, but to God. I say no to rebellion; yes to loyalty: to my God and my Nation.

Helmuth-Then you will not stand with me?

Zoellner-No.

Helmuth-So be it...

Zoellner-*A Pause* So be it... 

There is a line in this play that states, "You can't sing a song that's off key and feel good about it." (Helmuth). In my life, though I hadn't made a motto for it like this line is for me now, I have always felt this way. There is no way to know the truth of something and feel good about it when done the wrong way. As I heard this line over and over in my mind, my seminary class the day after closing the show was about Alma's words to his son Corianton. We discussed Alma 41: 10, which states that "wickedness never was happiness.". We talked about how we can do things that may feel good for a temporal time, but how--as we know there is a true source of joy that lies in our Heavenly Father's plan--there is no way to feel happiness when involved in such things. In just the same way, "You can't sing a song that's off key and feel good about it.".

I am one man who has been blessed to be involved in a true story that has critically and eternally changed my life for the better. In no way will I be able to look at a decision without thinking of Zoellner, Hugo, or Helmuth. I will forever know that I cannot forsake the truth, as "...by so doing I would offend God." (Helmuth/Joseph Smith). There is no doubt in my mind of the truthfulness of this story, the gospel, and the goodness of God and his work. I know it is true. There have been countless men and women who gave their lives to further the work of God. I was blessed to be given the opportunity to look into one of them--and by so doing, I will forever be changed. Not in a sad way, but in a triumphant way. I can now see truths I had not before known. All of it thanks to Helmuth. To those who brought them to me. I can never pretend I do not feel the truth of the Gospel around me. There is no way I can sing a song that is off key and feel good about it.

I know God lives. I know he has given us his Gospel on the earth today through living prophets. He has given us books of timeless wisdom to learn from and to grow from. I know Jesus Christ is the literal Son of God and that he atoned for our sins that we may live with him again. I know of the truthfulness of this Gospel; and those who fought to keep it with us, like Helmuth. These truths can never be taken away from me, for they have been manifested me by the Spirit of God, to which I also have a testimony of the truth. I know it is true.

"To Helmuth."