The Telephone (A One-Act)

CAST OF CHARACTERS

(in order of appearance)

JACKSON (Jack)...............................A boy in his late-teens, approaching adulthood.  

MARVIN (Marv)................................Jack's younger brother of 16. Quite the handful.  

STACY........................................................Jack's younger sister in her early teens. 

RALPH (Ralphie)...........................................A friend of Marv's. Visits quite often. 

CAROL....................................................................................................Jack's mother. 

TIME: Mid-afternoon on a cloudless Saturday in April.

SETTING: The home of a successful family in the Mid-West.

(The lights rise to an impressive home. There is a stairway center-stage with exquisite handrails. Large works of art mask the walls, couches, side-tables, and lamps fill the floor, and a fine chandelier lightens the room. The front door is fixed right of the stairway. Next to one of the couches, on a maple side-table lies a black vintage telephone. A boy lies restless on the couch, obviously awaiting a call.)

JACK Are you sure you haven't unplugged the line, mom?

CAROL Yes, Jack. I'm quite sure I haven't unplugged our telephone line.

JACK (After a pause) You wanna check, just in case?

CAROL (In exasperation, walking on stage-right) Jackson! I'm not going to--

JACK Sorry! I just thought she would've called by now! (Jack looks concernedly at the telephone for a while, then closes his eyes. Meanwhile Marv races into the room Stage-Right with a pop-gun, yelling at invisible enemies)

MARV Take that, you! And how 'bout a pop in the eye, bucky? And what about-- (He notices Jack and freezes, silent. Creeping up slowly behind the couch upon which he lay, and holding the pop-gun directly over Jacks nose, he pulls the trigger) Pop! (he laughs)

JACK (In a rage) Marv! I'm waiting for a call!

MARV Oh, are you? I'd have thought you'd have stopped after a week of what? Oh yeah: non-stop listening!

JACK (going red) Shut it, you.. (he sits)

MARV (sitting beside his brother) Look, Jack. She ain't gonna call! You've been waiting for weeks for her to return your call, and what have you got? Nothing! You should take the lead and call her yourself! 

JACK But I've already called!

MARV Last Saturday! You know, the call's probably not even there! Her dad would've deleted it or something.

JACK That's true.. 

MARV (rising) Call her back!

JACK (rising as well) Should I?

MARV (picking up the phone) Yeah! 

JACK (taking it) I will! (bending to the dial, he starts to turn the wheel. as he dials, with a grin, Marv leaves stage-left. Done dialing, Jack paces behind the couch. After a minute, his heart failing him, he let the phone fall at his side. Marv enters stage-left)

MARV No luck?

JACK Nah.. She didn't pick up.

MARV Well, big brother.. Better luck next time, eh? Maybe next time, (he smiles and pulls a cable from behind his back) the line will be plugged in! 

JACK (over the laughs of his brother and jumping to his feet) Did you do that?! I'm gonna beat you silly, kid!! (Jack and Marv disappear stage-left in a brawl, while Stacy enters upstairs stage-right. She walks down the stairs, humming a tune, and sits on an armchair where she sits, humming. The brawl can still be heard somewhere stage-left, but dies down. Faintly, Marv can be heard saying 'Okay! I'll plug it back in!' When, immediately following, the phone rings. Stacy stands and answers the phone, as clomping footsteps can me heard from stage-left)

STACY Hello? (Marv and Jack tackle each other onto the stage, Marv gleeful and Jack still enraged)

both JACK and MARV Who is it?!

STACY Be quiet, you two! It's just Ralphie! (Jack, obviously disappointed, crumples to the floor. Marv, elated at Jack, seats himself, howling with laughter, into the armchair.) Yes, Ralphie? Sure! Feel free! No, (She looks at the boys) we're not too busy. Okay. Thanks, see you soon. (setting the phone down)

MARV (coming out of his revelry) Is Ralphie coming?

STACY Yeah, (sitting on the sofa) but what in the world was that about, you two?

JACK (rising from the floor) Nothing you need to care about!

STACY (offended) Well, fine! I'll just leave you two to your stupid fight, then! (She leaves upstairs and exits stage-right. Jack sits and looks at the floor. Suddenly, from where Stacy just left there comes a scream. Both Jack and Marv look up in alarm) Jack! Jack! There's a spider!

JACK (rolling his eyes, annoyed, Jack starts for the stairs, then stops, looking slowly back at Marv with a glare) If you even touch that telephone, I'm gonna--

STACY Jack! Hurry! It's crawling under the bed! (Jack points menacingly at Marv, then exits upstairs. For seconds there is no sound, and Marv stands to leave stage-left, when the phone rings. Not missing a beat, Marv hurls himself at the phone and before the first ring ends, he has it at his ear)

MARV (in a hurried and hushed tone) Hey! Are you the girl Jack says dots her "i"'s with hearts? (he laughs. Jack appears stage-right, upstairs) Are you the girl Jack says always wears red slippers? (he laughs. Jack silently starts down the stairs) Are you the girl Jack says does her hair with a curl at the end? (he laughs. Jack reaches the bottom of the stairs) Are you the girl Jack's been waiting for all week? (he laughs. Jack stands behind Marv, glaring down with evil in his eye) Are you the--wait, what? Oh, no. He's not here right now. You should--(Jack gently taps Marv's shoulder. Marv stops. With dread in his eyes, Marv slowly looks around. With a bellow like a wounded rhinoceros, Jack chases Marv off stage-right. The front door opens, and in walks Ralphie. He looks around, then notices the phone lying on the floor where Marv had just left it. He walks to the phone and puts it to his face)

RALPHIE Hello? Oh, Hi! This is Ralphie, who's this? Oh! It's you! (He smiles an evil smile) Are you the girl that Jack says dots her "i"'s with hearts? ...

END

-Lewie II